I looked at my blog today for the first time in ages. It was in a sad state, with no posts for nearly two months. No stories about my new life working for Virunga National Park in Congo. I figured that my family, friends, and strangers had probably abandoned my poor blog, put it to rest, figuring it was dead and buried.
So I clicked on the “stats” page, just to confirm that not a single person had read my blog in the last two months, but was shocked to see numbers there. Random numbers. February 13th apparently was quite a busy day on my blog for God-knows-what-reason. Did something happen on the 13th that I should know about?
But here’s the good part. I decided to check the section that tells what people googled to land on my blog. The following are actual google searches. I did not make any of these up.
First, the most popular search topic in the last month was variations on:
Land with bum in the butter (who would have thought that post would be useful to so many people) Click HERE to read post
The longest search line:
- edentify the ecological uniqueness of the plant and animal life in garamba forest
The shortest search:
And now for just a small sample of the good ones (and the post that some were led to):
- taking off her clothes (twice this was searched for! And I promise, whoever googled this and landed on my blog was sorely disappointed)
- bum worms (I have never had bum worms)
- buy football bombs (I have never bought football bombs – but I know what post this came from) Click HERE to see post
- african culuture adorned with yellow battery acid (??? And I swear I have never used the words “yellow battery acid” on my blog) OK, I lie. I just remembered THIS
- monkey fur coats Nairobi (I do not endorse such a thing) HERE is the post
- country music feetshots (what is a “feetshot”?)
- monkeys warthog socks (This I would like to see)
- pink microphone sock (I know exactly how they landed on my site, but why would anyone be searching for this?) See post HERE
- do volcanoes throw up anything else apart from lava ? for kids
- rubberband clothes
- scurvy Kenya (have I ever used the word “scurvy” on my blog? I need to check this)
- hedgehog hairstyle
- scottish phrases for bums and lowlifes (I promise I am not using disparaging phrases about lowlifes.)
- i am looking for kenya boys and girls email address (pervert perhaps?)
I have to say that I have found this so entertaining that I will probably check back regularly for a laugh.
And so…(drum roll)…this is my re-introduction to writing again on this blog. I’m hoping to have committed, interested readers, not just weirdos googling bizarre things and ending up here, disappointed to find that I do not have information on “african culuture adorned with yellow battery acid.”
(And I’m going to work on this blog partly, well mostly, because my boss wants me to. He thinks people will read it. He thinks I can say things here that I probably shouldn’t on the official www.gorilla.cd blog. Doesn’t that sound enticing? He has no idea what he’s in for. Someone should warn him.)
Is anyone out there reading this?
(I will be posting simultaneously here and on my other blog: http://luanne.gorillacd.org/)